White coat. Heels.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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