I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
