3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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