Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize