the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Blood and glitter go together right?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
