dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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