Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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