Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
