absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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