My friends, they love my intelligence
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
