yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
