May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
