Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i think i have herpe
just one?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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