Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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