Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
