Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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