Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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