Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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