id be glad to
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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