Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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