it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
