im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
