It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love having hate sex.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
