So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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