Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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