I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize