Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
