He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
