69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
