toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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