So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
