uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well you can't waste a boner
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
