Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize