Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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