That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
