So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
