How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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