remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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