I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
