Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
