its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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