its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
