i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
