sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
