Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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