he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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