His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
