well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
