I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dignity is for republicans.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
