I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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