How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
