SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
