Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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