so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
