oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
