there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
