remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
