She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
