He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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