he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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