What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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