I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
